The sharp edge cleaves into the ground, shredding the brittle grass and sinking through to expose once strong roots. Each swing backed by a full force of strength, each heave a heavy exhale. The blunt edge of the pick-axe tears through what was once alive and vibrant, through the underground support system and eventually, exposes soft, raw earth. Each pull revealing a bit more, tearing open deeper and tugging to dismantle.
This is my work. Channeling my grief, pain and anger into constructive action, into creation. This energy that is filling my heart, caused by actions of others that I cannot control, is overwhelming and feels like an emotional overload. It is my work to shift this energy, transmute it and create something beautiful from it. I get to use this container of my body, thankful that it is strong and healthy, to process these emotions and transform.
I’m spending time removing what has died, dried up and no longer serves us. With each strike of the pick-axe I dig deeper into earth, tearing down and finding the softness below. From this softness, we prepare to plant new in the spring. We add to our soil, tilling it with rich organic matter to nourish the future. We allow our tears to fall freely and water what will come next. We accept that we are in a season of grief; we can use this pain and destruction to rebuild. Brick by brick we’ll put the flower bed back together, reimagining a space of beauty and mindfully expending our energy to create what is new. When summer comes and we enjoy the abundance of blooms, we can look back and know what it took to achieve. We will feel the pain and grief and at the same time, the smiles and joy – resilient, even more beautiful than before.